Need help on IEP for my 9 year old with Aspergers. It's in 2 days!!?

My 9 year old son was diagnosed with Aspergers, NVLD and ADHD. For over a year, we have been trying acommodations, but they aren't working. His teacher is doesn't have time to work with him and she's very insensitive to his diagnosis. She has actually written me notes that he "chose" not to pay attention or "decided" not to focus. We are meeting again in 2 days to revise the IEP. The last time I requested a 1 on 1, they told me they were for the "severly disabled." My son's doctors all recommended he have a 1 on 1 or be placed in a self-contained clroom. Only problem is, placing him in a special ed cl with other kids who have more severe emotional issues etc. wouldn't be the best environment. He needs to be mentally challenged, but isn't able to do his work because he isn't able to follow along with what to do when he is alone. So do I request a 1 on 1 again or mention private schooling? Also, if we disagree, should I request an Administrative review or go straight to a due process hearing. I have had all my son's testing done privately, even his O.T. and Speech/Language Evaluations, but the school just isn't doing their part. Thanks.